Pet Cobra

Friday Blog Sweep

I'm a giver. I give 'till it hurts. And so I give some of my fellows some bandwidth. In no particular order:

Elisson supplies us with an interesting meme.

1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the 5th sentence.
4. Post the sentence in your blog. Ponder it for meaning, subtext, or hidden agendas...
5. Tag 5 others to do the same.

Ok, I'm game. This will go WAY back to the Blogspot days. Posted on Tues, Sept. 7, 2004:

"Welcome to Sadr City, folks."

Prophecy, irony, and snark rolled into one. I was quite the pundit.

The always entertaining Dad Gone Mad asks readers for their current favorite thing.

Me, I'm all about the TV. I will say that I found last night's Alias, the opener to the fifth and likely last season, to be a big, big disappointment. On the other hand, Smallville FINALLY delivers - the show has historically had killer cliffhangers, only to follow them up with weak season openers. This ep was one of the best in the show's tortured history. Unfortunately, Lana doesn't die a horrible death. But other than that it was solid.

Aussie blogger Chocolate Makes It Better has some nice words for his next kid.

Very nice, thoughtful words, and dads, if you're on the fence about having another, please don't let your significant other read that post. You will be off said fence and in the stud pasture.

Dutch posts disturbing pictures of bearded babies and Depression-era kids.

Alan bought himself a short longboard. Or a noseriding shortboard. You decide.

As a bonus, there's a picture of the president of the Billy Ray Cyrus fan club. Mullets are funny. Oh yes they are.

As for the weekend, lots happening. A much needed date night with Beth, surfing tomorrow morning (fingers crossed that the mild Santa Anas stay with us one more day), the SDSU-BYU game tomorrow night with former college roommate and best man Tim. Rust never sleeps, Neil Young once said, and I never stop the blog, so you'll hear about all this tomorrow and Sunday. Adios.

Single Parenting: Conclusions Drawn

Well, my gal comes home tonight. THANK FUCKING GOD.

This was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Not because I lack the basic skills necessary to do the work; I am practiced at the art of fatherhood, thank you very much. But because when you have the kid, and it's just you, the "it's just you" part never, ever leaves your mind. You. Are. It. If anything happens to him, you have to handle it. There's no backup. If anything happens to you...

Shit. There are still nine hours and five minutes until her plane lands. Hope I didn't just jinx myself...

Two Big Things I Forgot

1. The tuna sandwich I had for lunch didn't do it for me on any level (physical, intellectual, emotional) and despair was setting in because I have no change for the vending machine but then I realized I have half a bag of Trader Joe's Sweet Savory and Tart Trail Mix in my desk and damn, that shit is off da hook.

2. I missed my own Blogiversary. It was last month. Here's my very first blog post ever.

Flying Solo: Day 3 Recap (In Which I Ask, Fred Willard - Style, "Wha' Hoppin'?"

Yesterday - a blur. I remember waking up and going to sleep, and that's about it. I think we ate dinner at my grandmother's. I'm pretty sure I gave the kid a bath before putting him to bed. He was asleep in his crib this morning. Go figure - the week I play single dad is one of the busiest work weeks in recent memory. And I'm crazy busy today - had two meetings this morning, and multiple offers to close by EOB today. I'd be bummed about that, but Tom DeLay got busted. Which turns my frown upside down.

Flying Solo: Day 2 Recap (In Which I Strike A Deal With Evil Personified)

Day 2 of my solo mission went well. Some thoughts and tips on single parenting:

• We all know that The Wiggles are Satan's representatives on Earth, sent here from the Seventh Level of Hell to enslave the minds of our children for some nefarious purpose known only to His Beelezebubic Majesty. The flip side - Lucas is mesmerized by them. So, yes, I will trade my soul and the fate of humanity for five minutes of down time.
• Red Robin - great place to take kids for dinner. In fact, I don't think they let you in unless you have at least one. I had in my head to make some spaghetti and meatballs for Lucas and I; he had that for lunch, so to Red Robin we went. I've noticed, though, that every time we go, we get a highchair with a broken lap belt. And they never have any highchairs with functioning lapbelts. You'd think with all the kids, they would. Especially with kids like mine who like to stand up in their highchairs, point at the lovely antique carousel horse prominently displayed in the center of the restaurant, and yell "DOGGIE!! DOGGIE!!".
• Recently, we purchased a small folding plastic slide for Lucas. It's going to go in our new backyard, but it's compact enough to work in the house. After dinner we busted it out and set it up in his bedroom. He spent a half hour on it - climbing up, sliding down, climbing up, sliding down, climbing up, sliding down. He did this to the point of exhaustion. Should've named him Sisyphus.
• He was out like a light at 7:30. I was out like a light at 9:30. Single parents out there - holy shit. I am in awe of you.

Flying Solo: Day 1 Recap

Some of you may know that Beth has left us for a five day business trip to San Francisco. She took off yesterday morning. Five days, just me, the dog, and Lucas the Mancub.

You'll be happy to know that 22 hours later, we are all still alive and well. Yesterday's goal - to keep the kid occupied so as not to alert him to the fact that his mom is gone and his life is in my hands. The Mancub can sense fear, smell it like a bee, and the trick was not to let him know that I know that if he realized that Mommy was gone for five days...well, I feared a five day long meltdown.

So after dropping Beth off at the airport, we swung over to the Zoo and walked around for a while. Favorite animals that day were the zebras (or, as Lucas calls them, "doggies"), the giraffes (a.k.a. "doggies"), the camels (otherwise known as "doggies"), and the birds walking around in the aviaries (these caused some confusion - "doggies?" - as they hop around on two legs, but are not people). After about an hour, the pre-nap Crank started setting in, so we packed up and drove back home.

Lucas had a quesadilla and applesauce for lunch, then I put him down for his hour and a half nap. Yesssss! We had fun at the zoo! I fed him lunch! I put him down for a nap! I am not a complete moron when it comes to caring for the child! Small victories call for celebrations, so I cracked open a beer (Abita Purple Haze - good stuff) and settled in for some football.

Twenty minutes later the thumping started.

So much for the nap. Lucas was standing in his crib, talking to himself while thumping his fist against the wall. ( I fancied him saying "Attica! Attica!"). No chance he's going back to sleep, so I changed him, got him dressed, and we headed out to buy some much needed supplies for the week: groceries, and the Battlestar: Galactica Season One boxed set. (Got the groceries, not the DVD's; couldn't find it anywhere, not Target, not Barnes and Noble, not Circuit City. Will have to try Best Buy tomorrow.) As the 4:00 hour neared, the Crank started up again, so back to the crib he went, and this time he was out like a light.

Dinner was grilled sausages, mac and cheese, and corn on the cob. We ate well, watched the Chargers, the whole father-son bonding thing. Then it was bath time, and then to bed. Clockwork - he was down and asleep by 7:30. I forced myself to stay awake for Curb Your Enthusiasm ("I'M ADOPTED! I'M ADOPTED!" - classic) then crashed hard. Solo parenting is very tiring, as it turns out.

Holy Frakkin' Frak!

Happy Saturday, y'all. Just finished watching the Season 2 Finale of the best Goddamn show on TV. Gut-wrenchingly good. Emotional. And very,very disturbing.

If you're not watching Battlestar:Galactica because it has Cylons and spaceships and such, you're missing out on the best-written, best-acted, and most intense show on TV. Trust me, folks. Buy or rent the complete Season 1 set (including the original two-part miniseries), and watch the Season 2 reruns. If you do and don't like it I will come to your house and wash your car.

It's A Presence! It's The Beast!

Sometime yesterday Beth calls me. "The car SMELLS. It REEKS. Like something DIED."

Immediately I thought of the Worst Case Scenario. There is at least one rodent that visits our back patio at night; it's rat-sized, with a long hairless gray tail. I've seen it a couple of times. You'd think that having a neurotic dog that barks at the TV every time a Domino's ad rolls across the screen (TV Pizzaboy rings doorbell; neurotic dog runs to our front door and barks hysterically) would be a deterrent, but no. This is one emboldened rodent. The Xterra would be a nice habitat for a mouse; roomy, with lots of munchies courtesy of the ManCub, who tends to leave a lot of Goldfish crackers in his wake. You hear the stories of mice crawling into cars'  nooks and crannies and expiring -this happened to friends of ours - thus I envisioned a dead rat rotting away in the glove compartment.

So when she got home from work I went to investigate. Sure enough, it stank. Bad. Really bad. Madonna's-acting-skills bad. Like someone ate a bunch of rancid cottage cheese, threw it up, ate the puke, and then threw it up again. It was everywhere, and I couldn't identify the source. My suspicion is that Lucas spilled some milk in the backseat, and we didn't catch it right away. So we sprayed the better part of a bottle of Febreeze all over the interior, and crossed our fingers. I didn't check the Xterra this morning. I haven't heard from Beth today. Has she succumbed to the ghastly fumes? Fear grips my heart.

See? I TOLD You Bono Is Not Full Of Shit.

Me and Bono. We're TIGHT.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/21/readersopinions/bono-questions.html?8hpib

(Registration required. Scroll down to the question from the guy from San Diego. Yep. I am now the coolest motherfucker you know.)

The Obligatory Day After Lost!Season!2!Premiere! Post

WARNING!! SPOILERS!!! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!! WHICH IS WHY I STARTED THIS POST WITH "WARNING!!! SPOILERS!!!"

So. One chase has been cut to - we sorta know what's down the Hatch, Brother. No surprise who'd we'd find down there after the flashback to Jack's stadium run. But a very interesting development nonetheless, a pretty big WTF???, IMHO. My theory is that the Weirdness has scientific rather than supernatural origins, so points for me.

Oh, and how creepy was Walt? Creepy enough to freak my shit out, that's how.

Speaking of creepy - "Invasion" shows promise. It brought the creepy rather slowly, but it brought it nonetheless. Interest - piqued.