Normally, this space would be filled with yet another surfing tale. Today we're rained out; the morning was spent watching a DVR'ed ep of Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex: 2nd Gig (can they fit any more colons into that title? ) and attending to a decidedly grumpy Lucas - one day he'll figure out that an extra hour of sleep in the morning is good for what ails ya. So while I figure out what to do with the rest of my day, I'll oblige Mo-Wo, who tagged me yesterday. And I'll go a step further and give all y'all the full six. Six things that you may not know about me (and for those of you visiting via Dutch's link, welcome. If you're expecting General Assholishness, be prepared to be underwhelmed; if you're looking for Detached Amusement, why, you've come to the right place). So.
6. Many of you know of my Monkey/Primate Phobia. (If not, you do now. They freak my shit out.) Not so well known: the real reason that I don't shop at WalMart - Dutch fans, you'll be happy to know that I sent him a non-confrontational, almost genial email yesterday, in which I shared the following with him, the first time I've told ANYONE of this - the Greeters, they also freak my shit out. Perhaps more than apes (but not more than gibbons). Their genuinely friendly smiles, their eagerness to help me find the paper plates or inflatable pool toys, their blue vests with the "flair"...sweet jumped-up Jesus, they're a George Romero flick come to life.
5. I'm not afraid to point out good-looking men. Example: last night Beth and I were watching Rent (during which, in a remarkable display of poor taste, I began referring to all of our various ailments as a variation of AIDS. Example: Beth mentioned that her back hurts, to which I replied "Oh...you have the Back AIDS", I spoke of my stuffy nose as "The Sinus AIDS"...yeah...guess you had to be there) and I said things like "Taye Diggs - now there's a good-looking man" and "Jesse L. Martin? Good-looking man. And he can sing, too."
4. I don't play golf, I have no interest in ever learning to play golf, yet I enjoy watching it on TV.
3. I post and rate books on my Reading Typelist before I actually finish reading them. Which, come to think of it, I can do without feeling guilty, because it's "Reading" and not "Read", so I'm really not being disingenuous, am I.
2. I believe that the so-called "Holocaust" is a myth, created by the Zionists to justify their imperialist designs on the Holy Land.
1. I don't like ice cream. Gelato, yes. Regular ice cream, no. Even Ben and Jerry's. Does nothing for me, and while I'll eat ice cream every once in a while, I could do without it. Oh, and I'm totally kidding about the Holocaust thing. But not about the ice cream or the Greeters.
