Yep. You read that right. And I heard it correctly: Lucas, during dinner. "Everyone should have a mechanical crotch!"
It's hard to disagree. Mechanical crotches would be useful indeed.
Think of it. Our new Gods: Polo players, male gymnasts, The Rockettes. Can you imagine? The implications are staggering. Peace in our lifetime. Cold fusion. Colonies on Mars. Those cars that drive up the sides of buildings in Minority Report. If humankind can develop the Mechanical Crotch, why, we will fly like Daedalus, and no sun will melt our collective wings. (Metaphorically, of course. Birds can fly because they have hollow bones. Plus they're streamlined. If you or I tried that, we'd go into the ground like a fucking dart.)
And! A thousand years of darkness, put to an end. An end to high fructose corn syrup, the Dodgers, remakes, prequels, Pete Townshend's sham "Who" Reunion Tours (and no more Roger Waters pretending to be Pink Floyd, or Roger Waters-less "Pink Floyd" pretending to be Pink Floyd), mock turtlenecks (and, consequently, Patrick Dempsey), and books about teenaged vampires. The Fox Network would be sacked, and replaced by the Wolverine Network. And no, it wouldn't be Hugh Jackman in his biker suit and CGI claws reading the news. That would be stupid. It would be ACTUAL WOLVERINES. Like this:
...and they would fight off wolves and dudes in White Ninja uniforms while some guy offscreen would read the news. Or maybe they could be trained to read the news while fighting wolves and White Ninjas. Shit, people - we invented the Mechanical Crotch. We ushered in The World of Tomorrow. Talking wolverines? Child's play.
