Remember, remember, the Fifth of Movember. I didn't have a Guy Fawkes mask. But I did take a shower. See?
I'm often asked if that's my real hair (yes) and if it is, why do I always wear hats? I should flaunt that shit! The truth is that I wear hats because I take a shower maybe three times a week. I'm up and working at six every morning - and by work, I mean wrangling my 6-year-old, 3-year-old, and jobby-job stuff (I do have a Paying Non-Writing Job, which I do from home, as well as the stuff I do for Man Of The House, and my own sites). I ain't got time to bathe. Also, my bathroom is on the second floor, and what happens is, I turn on the water, crank it over to HOT, and wait. And wait. And wait. Meanwhile, the HOT water makes it's way down from the Rockies, into the Colorado River, through volcanic fissures that heat the water, through Arizona, underneath houseboats full of drunken teenagers, past the meth fields of Jamul, around Cape Horn (it's a water rights thing), and to my house, which has a hot water, a good thing since, you know, CAPE HORN, where the penguins and the narwhals frolic together in blissfully friggin' cold harmony, but the water heater has a timer, and the timer supposedly allows one to control the flow of hot water to the upstairs portion of the house, but the previous owners didn't leave the instructions, and so I had to look it up online, and it's a funny thing, but Googling "HOT WATER TIMER THINGY INSTRUCTIONS" doesn't yield up much expect for a few weird Japanese tentacle porn sites, and after about three hours of going through those I began to realize that maybe I was looking in the wrong spot, and thus I'm not really sure how to operate the timer, and for all I know I've enable Skynet to eventually become self-aware, so that's why I usually end up taking a shower that starts off cold and reaches a decent temperature only after I've washed my hair, and so today after I got out the shower I took that picture and after I uploaded it to this site I got on Twitter and found this article and said fuck it, being a Good Man is too goddamn difficult. But hey, narwhals.
