Pet Cobra

The PetCobra Holiday Roundup

I've been writing a ton of stuff about the holiday season; even I'm having trouble keeping up with all of it. So in lieu of an actual blog post, here's all my 2012 Christmas and Hanukkah ramblings. I'm sure there will be more. We haven't even gotten to the Dora Kitchen Situation.

Over at Babble's Dadding site:

5 Perfect Holiday Gifts For Dad

Bad Dad Confessional: I Am Happy To Share My Bad Santa Photos

Eight Crazy Nights And One Crazy Day: Why We Celebrate Hanukkah AND Christmas

 

Over at DadCentric:

A Letter From The Elf On The Shelf To Our Children

A Gallery Of Disturbing Christmas Tree Ornaments

Why I Lie To My Kids About Santa

Hope you enjoy. Sing 'em out, Run-DMC.

 

Where I'm At

Dear Faithful: I felt like I need to explain the volley of cryptic tweets about Writing Stuff  I'm Working On, if for no other reason than to release some cranial pressure. The need to vent a bit about Hush Hush projects is strong. So!

1. The DadCentric Relaunch: We're rapidly approaching the end of our 6th year, and for some time I've felt that something was...off. For me, it was a combination of Dad Blogging Burnout (I wrote dad stuff for about a year prior to launching DadCentric) and a growing sense of dismay over where the Dad-blog-o-sphere is heading. Piss-poor writing and blatant product shilling seem to be the order of the day.

It got bad, folks. As in "I sent an email to the DadCentric Gang telling them I was so sick of it all that I was seriously considering shutting the site down" bad. 

But cooler heads prevailed. The guys talked me down off of that ledge. And the brainstorming began. What do we like? What do we hate? What's not being done? And what can we do to push  - no, rip apart and burn - the dadblogging envelope that in many ways DadCentric helped create? (I realize that I just gave my three favorite trolls some ammo. Well, it's not bragging if it's true.) 

The guys came up with some fantastic ideas. I took a look at some of my favorite sites - none of which have anything to do with fatherhood - and added that inspiration to the mix. We're putting all that stuff together and building out DadCentric 3.0 even as I type this. I don't have an exact relaunch date yet, but it will happen before the year ends. There will be some new voices, some changes with some of our veterans, and a bunch of new features. And I think you'll be surprised at where we're going.

2. The Book Project

Inspiration's a weird thing. One day I'm sitting in my office doing work, and a song comes up on the Blip stream...and the next thing you know, I'm banging out a book proposal. I'm putting the finishing touches on that proposal, and am looking for an agent. I'm in that early stage paranoia, where I'm convinced that if I tell everyone what I'm up to someone will snatch the idea. What I can tell you is that the book has nothing to do with fatherhood; it's a surfing memoir/travelogue, and will touch on pop culture, California, and myths versus reality. When I came up with the idea, I almost felt stupid that I hadn't thought of it before. But now's the time for it. 

And that's where I'm at. 

Dance Like 3,000 People Are Watching: Another Look At BlogHer '11

Here's a bit from my longer piece about my BlogHer '11 experience:

"The fact of the matter is this: women dominate the online creative writing space. They’ve defined and re-defined blogging in ways that men (especially dads) haven’t. I’d argue that one cannot be a successful blogger—in whatever way one chooses to measure that success—without reading and understanding women like Heather Armstrong, Ree Drummond and the myriad of strong Internet writers who happen to be female.

Still, I’m a guy. And this was BlogHER, not BlogHIM. None of the content would be directed at men. So I had no interest, until I found out last year that BlogHer 2011 would be held in my hometown of San Diego. And even then, my motivation was more along the lines of “Eh, might as well, I won’t have to buy a plane ticket.”

For the rest, and why it turned out to be a wholly unexpected and amazing experience, go over to Man Of The House and read the whole thing.

Three Things I Learned At BlogHer 2011

So I went to my first BlogHer Conference, because it was here in San Diego, and hey, why not? I submitted a big essay to my overlords at Man Of The House, which will detail What It All Meant, so I won't do an exhaustive/exhausting recap here. I said hi to just about everyone I met for the first time over at Twitter, but I think I forgot to mention that it was great meeting Whipstitch, who is married to my friend The Muskrat. I also forgot to mention that I met Lotus, who along with being very nice is an amazing photographer. Cool names, right? It's like they're superheroes. (Marvel superheroes, because they seem to have the best handles.) Oh, and I met Avitable. Also a cool name. Like a Bond villian's. And unlike you, they get a shoutout in a blog post. 

I learned three things at BlogHer. In no particular order:

1. Using A Picture That Looks Like You On Your Blog Or Profile Really Helps. Especially if you're a guy at conference for women - the nametags usually hang around the midriff, and while I do enjoy staring at women's chests from time to time, that can be awkward in certain social/professional situations. It was nice to know people by their face, and it was nice to be recognized. Everyone who recognized me said I looked exactly like I do in my picture, especially on Saturday, because I was wearing the exact same shirt. Also, I bought my pass from someone who was not able to attend, and her handle is A Vapid Blonde, which in my case is only 50% true. (Thanks again, Marla!)

2. You Will Have At Least One Socially Awkward Encounter. Here's how mine went.

Me: "Hi, I'm Jason, I run DadCentric. Nice to meet you!" (I'm actually somewhat friendly in real life.)

Female Blogger Who Shall Remain Nameless: "Are you an asshole? Because you look like you're an asshole. I bet you're an asshole."

Me: (Long pause.) "Um...I...try not to be?"

Female Blogger Who Shall Remain Nameless: "You look like one of those asshole guys. Like, your jaw. It's an asshole jaw."

Me: "Ah, well, I, uh..."

Female Blogger Who Shall Remain Nameless: "Also, the hair. And that shirt."

Me: "Ok, well, hey, great to meet you."

3. Turkey breakfast sausages dipped in pancake batter and then deep-fried like a corn dog are the bomb. But you probably knew that already.

Adios, Westeros

I've had a blast recapping HBO's wonderful Game of Thrones over at MamaPop. Here's my take on last night's season finale.  If you haven't seen the show, fear not! HBO is repeating all of the episodes, they're up at HBO On Demand, and you can watch 'em on HBO To Go. And because I'm here to help, you can find all of my recaps in one convenient location.

Spring 2012 cannot come soon enough. Green fire FTW.

 

Be Here Now

I was supposed to be on a plane to New Orleans, where I was going to be attending Mom 2.0, speaking on a panel about dadblogging that I'd put together and pitched. I'd recruited a few of my best bloggin' pals to join me, and it was going to be glorious - us talking about our Mad Dadbloggin' Skillz, networking, carousing, building the brand, adding to the legend. But Real Life happens, and a series of events caused me to say so long to all that. One difference between a blogger and a journalist: to the journalist, the life revolves around the writing, to a semi-pro blogger, the writing usually revolves around the life. 

Still, had I gone, I'd have missed the chance to interview Richard Blais this morning. I'd have missed the premiere of Game of Thrones on Sunday (which, Dear Readers, I shall be recapping as part of my return to the great MamaPop). And towering above all that, I'd have missed Beth's birthday, which we'll now be celebrating over the course of a few days, with a great meal at R Gang Eatery, owned by the generous and gregarious chef Rich Sweeney (definitely a Top Chef vibe in the air) tonight and some much-needed R & R at the La Costa Resort on Friday, rather than after the fact. I often tell myself that the Universe unfolds as it should, and you know, every so often, I'm actually right. 

South By

It's somewhere past Way Too Late on a Saturday night. The high from running Friday's panel on the media and the New American Dad with friend and colleague Craig Heimbuch is still gripping me. ("What does it mean to sound like a dad?", asked by someone in the full room. "It's like jazz", was my reply.) I'm sitting at a table at the epicenter of SXSW Fun, the Driskill, talking to Laura Mayes and Catherine Connors and Jyl Johnson Pattee and Nathan Thornburgh and Caleb Gardner ; their intelligence and humanity are electrifying, like a thumping bass line in my head, stirring my blood like a good backbeat should. Joe Hernandez stopped by for a few minutes - he founded Klout, so naturally I had to ask him what his Klout score was. Earlier that day, I was sitting at a cell phone recharging station and struck up a conversation with the guy next to me. "Where are you from?", he asked. "San Diego," I replied. "Oh, my son goes to San Diego State!" "My alma mater!" The talk to turned to Aztec basketball, then to SXSW - was I here for work, or fun? Both, I said, and told him about the panel I did the day before. He was here for work - Rick Eaton, CFO of Hashable, who then took twenty minutes out of his no certainly busy day to walk me through SXSW's hottest new app. (At one point, he called for help, which came in the form of Hashable CEO Michael Yavonditte, both of them explaining to me what this did, what that did, and it was all I could not to clap my hands in delight. Such moments are geekworthy.) The next morning is Sunday, and I will get up early - "get up", like I've actually slept - and walk the streets of Austin, because when I go to a city for the first time I need to experience it before it wakes, to see what kind of silence it holds. Then I'll head over to a brunch with the PBS Kids production team, the creative minds who could be doing pretty much anything, who opt to make our children's world a little brighter. I'll meet Karen Walrond, and half-jokingly refer to her as a force of nature, but I can think of no better way to describe someone so radiant. I'll fly home, deal with a plane delay that causes me to miss a connecting flight from LA to San Diego, rent a car at LAX at 11:30 at night, make a two hour drive back to the San Diego airport to pick up my car, fall asleep at the wheel at least once, collapse in my bed at 2:45 AM on Monday morning, wake up at 7:30 AM that same Monday morning (have to, because it's my first day at a new job), and spend the next couple of days in a complete fog, battling a horrid case of laryngitis and trying to come up with a way of describing What SXSW Meant To Me. I'm thinking the whole thing was something like jazz. The Mile Davis kind.

Allow Myself to Self-Promote...Myself

See that shiny new badge down there? No, past that. Scroll down a bit more. There. The fine folks at Indie Ink are featuring a post of mine today. You should go check it out - not just for me, because the post appeared on this here site last year, so if you're one of the dozen or so people who reads the nonsense I put up here you'll be disappointed, but fear not, because I do plan on sending the fine folks at Indie Ink some ORIGINAL MATERIAL very soon, maybe even some fiction, because I haven't written a short story since college so hey, why not - because there's some tremendous stuff going on there. 

I Will Follow (Friday)

This is a good article.  If you swim in Lake Twitter, it's worth a read. 

I love writing - you know that - but there's a special place in my heart for Twitter. It's me unfettered; I get my Tourette's of The Hands going, and when it goes I type a bunch of random shit and link to a bunch of random articles. If you follow my Twitter antics, you know that I'm a pretty big fan of Follow Friday. Most Fridays, if I'm not Crazy Busy, I #FF a bunch of folks. There's a method to my madness. I'll thank my wife, the guys who write for DadCentric, the core group of writers and editors who inspire/motivate/compel me to keep on keepin' on with my own writing, anyone who Tweets something that sparks my mind, and everyone who takes the time out of their day to exchange pleasantries, share some laughs, or on those rare occasions when Twitter becomes my free shrink, lends me an ear and a shoulder. 

Internet celebrity and one's ability to persuade others is a myth: 95% of the world has never heard of the world's most successful bloggers. I'm speaking at two, possibly three big blogging/social media conferences this year. I work as a Featured Contributor at a website whose traffic crushes DadCentric's (and - sorry, Dear Reader -  it most likely crushes yours as well). And guess what: that and $4.50 will get me (and most likely you as well) a Grande Mocha at my local Starbucks. 

So if I send you a Follow Friday, it's not to bestow some delusional Godfatherly Blessing, or to use my nonexistent Internet Powers to encourage legions of imaginary people to flock to you. I don't have a Grand Plan. It's my way of saying thanks, something I ought to do more often.

Movember: Day Two. Also, What The Hell Am I Doing Speaking At Mom 2.0?

Movember, Day Two. Slight shadow on the upper lip. Gimme a week and I'll look like Adam Morrison.

Also, Photo Booth takes reverse pictures. Why is that? Who cares? I'm not here to talk about the mysteries of Phone Booth. I'm here to talk about the Mystery Of  Me Speaking At Mom 2.0.

See? There I am, posing with my lovely wife Heather Armstrong. I think I look better without the beard.

Some backstory: a few weeks ago, Doug French, he of Laid-Off Dad, contacted me regarding Mom 2.0. The Mom 2.0 Bosses were thinking about inviting a few dadbloggers to speak, and would I be interested? Sure, I replied. I like talking about writing. I like moms. I like moms who write. In fact, as I've said, I think the dadblogging community could really learn a lot from Mom Writers. To wit:

“…one element of the mommy blogging community that goes unnoticed is its sheer diversity of content. Moms are writing about an incredibly wide range of topics; along with the classic "diarist" blogs, there are review sites, how-to sites (covering everything from website design to photography to work-life issues), pop culture and sports blogs written by and for moms, and even political sites. These writers aren't merely clichéd "mommies". Their community is brimming with intelligent, diverse, and sophisticated women - women who, by the way, happen to be mothers.  (Source.)

If you follow the goings-on in the dadblog-o-sphere, you know that there was a shitstorm a-brewin' - the whole "Do Dadblogs Suck?" drama, which has been beaten like a dead Rody. One good thing that came out of it - the thought that those of us who are serious about our writing lives have a lot in common. And as it happens, a great many of my favorite Internet writers are ladies. DadCentric has received an immeasurable amount of support from great women - our wives, of course, but also a bunch of phenomenal writers who like what we do, and who've been great at sharing our stuff with their respective audiences. A few of them have graced my site with their words. Men who don't read great writing by women aren't really readers, are they?

So the thought of meeting some of these great writers and exchanging ideas - talking about what inspires and motivates us, how we pull stories out of our heads - well, shit, y'all. I jumped at it. Especially after BlogWorld, which was what it was. 

I didn't think it was a dick move. And I mean that literally. 

I read the post, and a few others like it, and all of the comments, and the tweets. I can't speak to any of it. Last time I checked, I wasn't appointed the Official Representative of Men, assigned as Emissary To All Blogging Conferences Aimed At Women. Of course, the last time I checked, I wasn't a misogynistic asshole. I'm just a writer. I write for men. I write for women. And that's what I'm doing speaking at Mom 2.0.